Sit­ting here wait­ing for my Steam items to down­load (Mir­rors Edge and Assassin’s Creed, thanks for ask­ing), I began to pon­der the phrases, words, and actions that are my pet peeves. I now present them in a neat, alpha­bet­ized list that you may use as a ref­er­ence when com­mu­ni­cat­ing with me.*

Just know that there’s not any par­tic­u­lar rea­son for writ­ing this, and you shouldn’t take any­thing seri­ously — unless you’re Anthony or George. There might even be some things that you agree with, but don’t be sur­prised if there isn’t. In all seri­ous­ness, this post is really self-centered and is mostly a joke.

• Air­plane or Air­craft
  • Hon­estly, I have no idea why this bugs me. I pre­fer using and hear­ing the word air­craft over air­plane — maybe because I find the word air­plane redun­dant. I mean, the plane insin­u­ates flight, so there­fore the word air is unnec­es­sary. I like the word aero­plane, though.
• Blue­ber­ries
  • These things don’t even taste that great. The only real delec­table mem­bers of the berry fam­ily are the straw­berry and the rasp­berry. I don’t even know what the dif­fer­ences between the blue­berry and the huck­le­berry are. In my opin­ion, these use­less fruits should be erad­i­cated. They are tak­ing up straw­berry space.
• Peo­ple Who Post Pic­tures of Them­selves with no Shirt Online
  • You know those douchebags that take pic­tures of them­selves with their crappy 2MP cam­era phone their par­ents bought for them in front of their smeared bath­room mir­rors with their six­pack barely vis­i­ble under the blue flu­o­res­cent lights with var­i­ous point­less effects added in empha­siz­ing their “beast­li­ness”? I hate them.
• Pill Pop­ping
  • Mod­ern med­i­cine has come a long way, but what did humans do before tak­ing drugs became com­mon? Work­ing out? Using nat­ural reme­dies? Rest­ing? What are those?! It just bugs me that peo­ple have appeared to develop an inde­pen­dence on pills to make them feel bet­ter when there are even bet­ter reme­dies out there. Of course you still need med­ica­tion, but it needs to be frowned upon when oth­ers take drugs for the sake of laziness.
• Post­ing Your Per­sonal Prob­lems Online
  • I know I’m not alone on this. Doesn’t it suck when you’re hav­ing a nice day, decide to go on Face­book, and then see a deeply obscure but obvi­ously depres­sive mes­sage? It can totally bog your day down. I under­stand the need to vent, but that’s what a diary (or wrists) are for.
• Rapists
  • ‘Nuff said.
• Say­ing You can do More than you Really Can
  • So you want to look impres­sive? Then you might think it would be good to add 10 things you know shit none about to your resume. Even bet­ter, tell peo­ple that you can do those things and then pro­ceed to show those peo­ple work that you jacked off a lowly artist on deviantArt! Boy, aren’t you impressive!
• Those Who Put their Name on their License Plates
  • Are you too good for the ran­dom string of num­bers and let­ters that the DMV gives you or do you just for­get your name all the time? Quit being an ego­tis­ti­cal fool because we don’t care what your name is.
• Unnec­es­sary Swear­ing
  • Sure, pop­ping off an F bomb every now and then adds com­i­cal value, but you shouldn’t replace every other word with it. Swear­ing should either be used to prove a point, or add com­i­cal value to an oth­er­wise stale point.
• Woe­fully Igno­rant Peo­ple
  • You want to show some­one some­thing, but they just dont get it and don’t care. This might even be some­thing that you know they would like, but they still don’t care. You can choose to let it go or per­sist… you per­sist, if only for the rea­son that you know that you’ll be think­ing of this for weeks if you don’t. Days later, they still don’t give a shit and you pro­ceed to go to your next, more open-minded, employed friend and show him the thing you’ve been rav­ing about. The per­son loves it and you become best friends, and the igno­rant friend gets arrested for pos­ses­sion of a con­trolled sub­stance. You need bet­ter friends.